Wednesday, September 24, 2008

5 months

It's been five months my precious baby since I last held you, touched you, and kissed you. Five months since I last heard you cry. I remember that night like it was yesterday. I was feeling sick and I heard Daddy comforting you as you cried. I wish I had gotten up to comfort you myself. I wish I would have held you that last time. Maybe some how it would have changed the course of events. I know in the back of my mind there was nothing I could have done to prevent it but I just wish I could have. I still go over the events thinking about how they could have been different or how they could have changed. I think of the week before. I think of how I was preparing the garden in front of the house while you sat in the swing as happy as can be and kicked away. I think of the warm weather we had and how cute you looked in that little bunny jumper. I think of how that afternoon when you were playing in your gym and kicking away and smiling. If I only knew it was the last time you would. If I only knew I would have held you all day and begged God not to take you. I would have asked for more time. I wouldn't have done anything else but spend time with you. I would have made sure you knew I loved you so much. I have to believe that you know. I have to believe that for some reason this happened. I love you forever and always...till we meet again.


hollyhobbie said...

I always think of Addilynn and wish I could of held her and seen her agian too. I think of how we were going to get together that Friday and sometimes wished it was sooner.

Jill said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that pic of Addie! I think I took it! What a sweet girl.