two years later...and still not a day goes by

It's been two years already and still not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I wonder what you would look like now and how different my life would be if you were still here. I think of you daily and that need to hold you is still there. Those unanswered questions still loom. There are times when I feel the lose of you more than others. I always feel it. I always feel a little less than full and complete and happy. I watch Gabriella grow up and it is so bitter sweet. I will never see you do the things she is doing. I will always feel slated and robbed of this. I see the families that are bigger than one child and wonder if they know how blessed they are. I know I am blessed with Gabriella and you but I still long to have you here with us. I know you are in an awesome place but sometimes that really isn't soothing to me. Maybe that is selfish of me to want you here with us. You will never have to feel the pain we do and I am grateful for that. I will always miss you. The smell of you ..the feel of you...the sound of you... I love you, Addie!